End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
