got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
