He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
