I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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