arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
