I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize