ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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