HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
