I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
