Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
