I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
