coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
