I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
