He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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