I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
