Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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