just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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