I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
