So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize