Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
