You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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