i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
