Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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