I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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