just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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