I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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