no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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