Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
