i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
