ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
