People with herpes should wear stickers.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
