is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
