He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
