Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
