I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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