I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
