When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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