You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
