Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
