Don't you send me to vm
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
