I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm going to jail i love you
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
