btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
