vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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