I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
