If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
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The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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