Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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