I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
