I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
