I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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