am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just gift wrapped bread.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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