taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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