john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
