I wish I could teleport
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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