Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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