thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
