can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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