Already got asked if we're dating
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
